saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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