oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
