Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Randomize
