its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
