my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
