booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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