new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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