do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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