And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You left your phone here
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