I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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