Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
