you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
