If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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