Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
