white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
