Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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