Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
