Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
