Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
soo... how was my night?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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