1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He felt like a one man threesome
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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