Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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