Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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