You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
People in love make me want to vomit
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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