have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
