yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
