Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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