its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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