at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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