I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
