Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
