You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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