no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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