Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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