Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
