theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
