do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
