I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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