I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
They are going to name an STD after you.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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