Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
3pm strippers are depressing
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
