we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
