How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
