Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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