im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
