he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
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Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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