At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
