chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
my poor anus
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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