a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
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I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.