Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize