what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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