I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
