It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
What a dumb baby whore.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
