i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize