i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
