I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize