Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
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my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
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I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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