Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
