you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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