Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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