That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
