Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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