I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
