Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
