new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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