Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
