Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
