True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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